Boooo!

Bloody duoDERM! Every time I use it on a wound, the wound seems to get at least some over-granulation in it. I must be doing something wrong; using duoDERM when perhaps I should be using some other type of dressing. The wound nurse at the Semi-big Smoke's hospital that I've seen a few times in the past used to use the stuff on me every visit though. However, Semi-big Smoke is a two hour drive away, and the staff at the local hospital just don't seem to have a clue about wound dressing, so my options are limited. Anyway, I put one of those silver type dressings on it today just to tide me over to my trip to the Semi-big Smoke on Wednesday. I think a pharmacy visit is in order.

Aussie Kindergarten Children to be Tracked for Mental Health Issues

The following article appeared on "The Australian" newspaper website on 25 June 2010. Here's the link for the article, if it remains current that is.

Kindy kids to be tracked for mental health

EVERY kindergarten student currently enrolled in NSW will be tracked for the next 20 years in an attempt to find clues on mental illness.

Using the data, which includes birth and education records, researchers from the University of NSW hope to identify early markers that may be associated with the development of schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression and other mental and social disorders.

The data is being made available by the Department of Education and the Department of Health for more than 80,000 five-year-olds currently enrolled in NSW. It has been approved by the two major research ethics committees in NSW.

Individual children and schools will not be identified in the study, which if successful may lay the groundwork for an Australia-wide model.

"The study will focus particularly on children's emotion regulation, social behaviour, academic achievement and cognitive function and may eventually help to establish effective early detection and prevention programs," study chair Professor Vaughan Carr told The Weekend Australian.

News of the study, set to begin in the next few months, comes on the back of calls for the introduction of a national mental health curriculum in schools.

Australian of the Year and mental health advocate, Pat McGorry, said it was "crucial" mental health awareness was incorporated into the school curriculum, and believed it may help to reduce the amount of deaths related to mental illness.

"Mental illness is the main health issue for young people . . . awareness around the associated risks and warning signs should definitely be mandated in schools," Professor McGorry said.

"Every student should be taught about ill mental health and how to recognise it, because then it might not become so serious."

There is currently no mandated program in Australian schools to teach students about mental health, despite several successful voluntary initiatives.

Tracy Zilm, the national training co-ordinator for MindMatters -- one of the largest voluntary mental health education programs -- echoed the call for a national curriculum, but feared there could be resistance among teachers if such a syllabus was forced on them.

"It's tricky because the attitude that teachers bring changes when you mandate things," she said.

MindMatters was launched in secondary schools across Australia 10 years ago.

"I believe that every student in our school system should be exposed to a curriculum that deals with issues around mental health," Ms Zilm said.

Parent Stephen Grieve, 62, said he would be "more than happy" for his six-year-old son Ben to learn about mental health.

"If we can create a greater level of knowledge and sensitivity around mental illness from a young age, then kids will be able to take that knowledge with them when they move into the greater community," he said.

However, Australian Parents Council executive director Ian Dalton said schools and teachers "should not have to bear the burden of dealing with mental health" and he did not support implementing a national mental health curriculum.

"It would be something we would approach quite cautiously," Mr Dalton said.

"Getting (mental health) education right is important but it should be a more strategic approach that encompasses service providers, families and schools."

It's an interesting concept, that's for sure, and one hell of an undertaking.

If the study and the mentioned mental health curriculum works to dispel mental health stereotypes, misinformation and prejudices then the study and curriculum are both positives. The same could be said if they help save lives.

Focusing solely on the introduction of a mental health curriculum in schools, I do wonder about teachers' abilities to provide such a curriculum. As a whole, are teachers knowledgeable enough to provide non-judgemental, well-informed education when it comes to mental health? I would be more comfortable about the idea if mental health studies were included in education/learning management degrees, if they aren't already. In this way, then the odd prospective teacher who just hasn't got a clue could hopefully be weeded out. Teachers are everyday people after all, and some people hold some pretty horrible ideas in regards to mental health issues.

Still, an interesting study, and I do hope something positive ultimately comes out of it.

Simple Together

You’ve been my golden best friend
Now with post-demise at hand
Can’t go to you for consolation
Cause we’re off limits during this transition

This grief overwhelms me
It burns in my stomach
And I can’t stop bumping into things

I thought we’d be simple together
I thought we’d be happy together
Thought we’d be limitless together
I thought we’d be precious together
But I was sadly mistaken

You’ve been my soulmate and then some
I remembered you the moment I met you
With you I knew god’s face was handsome
With you I suffered an expansion

This loss is numbing me
It pierces my chest
And I can’t stop dropping everything

I thought we’d be sexy together
Thought we’d be evolving together
Thought we'd be healing together
I thought we’d be family together
But I was sadly mistaken

If I had a bill for all the philosophies I shared
If I had a penny for all the possibilities I presented
If I had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air
My wealth would render this no less severe

I thought we’d be genius together
I thought we’d be growing together
I thought we'd have children together
Thought we’d be adventurous together
But I was sadly mistaken

Thought we’d be exploring together
Thought we’d be inspired together
I thought we’d be flying together
Thought we’d be on fire together
But I was sadly mistaken

At That Particular Time

My foundation was rocked
My tried and true way to deal was to vanish
My departures were old
I stood in the room shaking in my boots
At that particular time love had challenged me to stay
At that particular moment I knew not to run away again
That particular month I was ready to investigate with you
At that particular time

We thought a break would be good
For four months we sat and vacillated
We thought a small time apart
Would clear up the doubts that were abounding
At that particular time love encouraged me to wait
At that particular moment it helped me to be patient
That particular month we needed time to marinate in what "us" meant
At that particular time

I've always wanted for you what you've wanted for yourself
And yet I wanted to save us high water or hell
And I kept on ignoring the ambivalence we felt
And in the meantime I lost myself
In the meantime I lost myself
I'm sorry I lost myself; I am

You knew you needed more time
Time spent alone with no distraction
You felt you needed to fly
Solo and high to define what you wanted
At that particular time love encouraged me to leave
At that particular moment I knew staying with you meant deserting me
That particular month was harder than you'd believe but I still left
At that particular time

Relationship Stuff

Wow, I'm sitting here shivering, which is a pretty amazing situation since I live in a place where the temperature rarely plunges, even in winter like it is now.

Arrived home from my weekly trip into the "Semi-big Smoke" a few hours ago. Been not-so-aimlessly surfing the internet since then.

It was an interesting couple of appointments with the pdoc, focusing primarily on the relationship with my husband and the issues surrounding leaving or staying with him. Although he would never say so, I think the pdoc is hoping I separate from the husband.

I wish I knew what was for the best. My husband is not an asshole by any stretch of the imagination. I wish he was. It would make my decision so much easier (I think) if that was the case. However, and he admits this, the husband is unable to cope with my illness or offer any meaningful support; apart from practical I guess since he goes off to work every day while I sit at home.

I am tired of trying to cope by myself. We essentially live in different ends of the house, only sharing a bed when he is working day shift. The vast majority of the time, we are sitting in front of our respective computers in separate rooms. My "job" in the relationship seems to be for me to cook and clean for him, and lend an ear when he comes home from work if he needs to talk about his day.

What is his job supposed to be? Is he supposed to provide me with more than a roof over my head and plenty of food to eat? Is he supposed to be there for me emotionally too? Years ago, when things went south with my health, should he have done some research about it, even through Google or something, and learnt how to support me in some way? Hell, I wish he had. I feel lost and alone.

The pdoc as suggested I write a letter to the husband since I seem unable to talk with him about the situation. That's not a bad idea. Even if I never show it to him it might help me identify what is going on inside me. It might help me identify what I really want from the husband if the relationship was to continue. 

Grocery Shopping and Social Phobia

I feel like something yummy for dinner tonight. Yes, its only 3pm but I'm dreaming of dinner already. The only problem is, while there is meat in the freezer, there are no vegetables left in the house. A trip to the grocery store is definitely required. Pity I'm scared shitless about leaving the house and stepping foot in the shopping centre. Gotta love social phobia, right?!?

Maybe its worth browsing through some cookbooks and seeing if there is something I really want. Maybe that will help with the leaving the house thing. One can only hope.

New Blog Beginnings

Something dies inside almost every time I leave "Semi-big Smoke" to return to the little town in which I live.  It's a horrible feeling, one of sadness and hopelessness. There is just no other place to be though. One day, it will be nice if that changes.